MoniqueFrahm This space is here for you to express anything you're struggling with at the moment. Use it to vent, get or give advice, share experiences, and feel connected to others going through similar challenges.
Cyndee MoniqueFrahm all of a sudden my husband wants to be physically intimate with me. But I just don’t want to do that. He’s not really my husband anymore. He doesn’t understand or accept this. He says we’re still husband and wife and that’s what married people do. Any suggestions on how to handle this situation? Thanks. Cyndee
Char MoniqueFrahm I'm not sure where to start a new comment. I have two: I am stuggling with my husband's nighttime incontinence. He wears an adult diaper with two vessie inserts. But his clothes and the bedding are soaked in the morning. He used to get up to pee in a urinal. Now he stays asleep and pees in the diaper. Is there a better product? (We have good rubber/cloth pads so the bottom sheet doesn't get wet, but I have to launder the top sheet and his night clothes every morning. Another issue is his nighttime belligerence. He can be cranky during the day though we get along well, take walks, have meals, watch t.v. etc. But when it is time to get ready for bed, which means a diaper change and pajamas, he is hostile and uncooperative, wants to sleep in his wet diaper, shoes, trousers, etc. He turns what should take maybe ten minutes into a long soul-sapping ordeal. He threw his diaper at me the other day. I dread the bedtime routine. P.S. He falls asleep quickly and sleeps through the night, unlike me.
Student [deleted] Caregiving can be emotionally challenging, especially when it's a long-term journey. How have you been coping with these feelings of anticipatory grief?
FloridaMadison I don't know what to do for them, and when to hold back. I want my mom to maintain as much of her independence as she can - but I can see her having a hard time and it makes me want to step in. I also know that there will be times when I really do need to do a lot more, so I also want to make sure that I am not burning myself out or sacrificing my other relationships.
[deleted] lpowers50 How is your health journey going?????? Do you have any tips or tricks to share on how you keep up on your healthy habits?
Philodot My wife literally hates me, and cannot or does not accept her dementia diagnosis. I do not remind her of it. She has stopped taking her meds, and is not eating. Hasn’t eaten in 36 hrs. That’s not a long time but I am worried that it is a sudden downhill trend.
GrandmaM Philodot I hope you are reaching out to others for help. Community organizations can often provide assistance or refer to others who can. My husband often responds better to someone else!!
mopo623 Philodot That must be so difficult. I wonder if that is what is down the road for us. What kind of help do you get, if any?
SherryV Philodot your wife does not hate you, her dementia mind hates you. You obviously care about and love your wife otherwise you wouldn't be here. Give yourself grace. Not eating is perhaps her body's natural way of saying enough. Not easy, my heart truly aches for you.
Beycs71 GrandmaM Please share names of some local organizations to help caregiver cope with angry, confused and firey independent parent.
[deleted] Spiral Have you watched the video "Recognize & Respond to Agitation" on the portal? It features Teepa Snow and is less than 5 minutes in length. Another one is "Behavior Q&Q with Teepa Snow". Let me know if these are helpful!
[deleted] Abby There is an article on the portal "Anxiety vs Dread: Which one are you dealing with?" you might find helpful. You can find it by using the search bar at the top of the portal screen. Another one that might be helpful is "Reframing Negative Thoughts". Let me know if you have trouble finding them! We are here to support you!
stargazerdo Abby Abby Having the same issues with my wife. She won't allow reframing of her negativity and talks about dying constantly every day. Expresses higher levels of anxiety. When she talks to her therapist she says she's doing ok. Until we get home. Really drags me down and sucks out my energy
[deleted] ladyamity Sorry to hear this is happening. Do you have any coping strategies that have been helpful for you during these times? In the past, I've had caregivers tell me they feel better if they write down all of their frustrations and then rip up the paper and throw it away. Others have said seeing a counselor or therapist really helped them process what was happening and learn coping strategies. Hugs to you!
-momknowsbest23 I struggle with the other ppl involved in caring for my disabled adult child.. right now he stays with my dad because I am also struggling with the poor economy finding a place to live that I can afford in my own and my mother is the most most difficult she undoes everything I tried to do to help my son become more independent..
[deleted] -momknowsbest23 I can tell you just want what is best for your child. So sorry to hear this is happening. Do you have a case worker or are you working with a community based organization to support YOU in supporting him?
