What are you struggling with the most right now?

Philodot

My wife literally hates me, and cannot or does not accept her dementia diagnosis. I do not remind her of it. She has stopped taking her meds, and is not eating. Hasn’t eaten in 36 hrs. That’s not a long time but I am worried that it is a sudden downhill trend.

GrandmaM

Philodot I hope you are reaching out to others for help. Community organizations can often provide assistance or refer to others who can. My husband often responds better to someone else!!

mopo623

Philodot That must be so difficult. I wonder if that is what is down the road for us. What kind of help do you get, if any?

SherryV

Philodot your wife does not hate you, her dementia mind hates you. You obviously care about and love your wife otherwise you wouldn't be here. Give yourself grace. Not eating is perhaps her body's natural way of saying enough. Not easy, my heart truly aches for you.

mopo623

GrandmaM What organizations are you recommending?

Beycs71

GrandmaM Please share names of some local organizations to help caregiver cope with angry, confused and firey independent parent.

Spiral

Extremely angry, swearing, outbursts by my father.

Cathy

Spiral I'm not alone. Swearing outbursts from Mama.

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Spiral
Have you watched the video "Recognize & Respond to Agitation" on the portal? It features Teepa Snow and is less than 5 minutes in length. Another one is "Behavior Q&Q with Teepa Snow". Let me know if these are helpful!

Azulhotdog

I stared to take care my husband, i don't have any problems for now .

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Azulhotdog
Are things still going smoothly for you and your husband??

Abby

Anxiety...fear. How to accept that he's going to decline and die.

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Abby
There is an article on the portal "Anxiety vs Dread: Which one are you dealing with?" you might find helpful. You can find it by using the search bar at the top of the portal screen. Another one that might be helpful is "Reframing Negative Thoughts". Let me know if you have trouble finding them! We are here to support you!

Ellie

Abby Yes!

stargazerdo

Abby

Abby Having the same issues with my wife. She won't allow reframing of her negativity and talks about dying constantly every day. Expresses higher levels of anxiety. When she talks to her therapist she says she's doing ok. Until we get home. Really drags me down and sucks out my energy

ladyamity

Maintaining my sanity while mom has increased episodes of delusions.

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ladyamity
Sorry to hear this is happening. Do you have any coping strategies that have been helpful for you during these times? In the past, I've had caregivers tell me they feel better if they write down all of their frustrations and then rip up the paper and throw it away. Others have said seeing a counselor or therapist really helped them process what was happening and learn coping strategies. Hugs to you!

-momknowsbest23

I struggle with the other ppl involved in caring for my disabled adult child.. right now he stays with my dad because I am also struggling with the poor economy finding a place to live that I can afford in my own and my mother is the most most difficult she undoes everything I tried to do to help my son become more independent..

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-momknowsbest23
I can tell you just want what is best for your child. So sorry to hear this is happening. Do you have a case worker or are you working with a community based organization to support YOU in supporting him?

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lpowers50
How is your health journey going?????? Do you have any tips or tricks to share on how you keep up on your healthy habits?

Cyndee

MoniqueFrahm all of a sudden my husband wants to be physically intimate with me. But I just don’t want to do that. He’s not really my husband anymore. He doesn’t understand or accept this. He says we’re still husband and wife and that’s what married people do. Any suggestions on how to handle this situation? Thanks. Cyndee

MoniqueFrahm

Cyndee I'm sorry to hear this and thank you for sharing. What is your husband's diagnosis if you don't mind sharing? I want to make sure my response is appropriate for the situation!

Elton

I am dealing with my wife. She does not want to admit we have been married for 47 years and makes me leave the house a couple times a day. She says this is not my house and I can't be here. If I try to stay she attacks me.

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Elton
Hi Elton! So sorry to hear you are dealing with this. Have you watched our videos featuring Teepa Snow in regards to managing difficult behaviors? If you use the search bar at the top - type in TEEPA Behaviors - and it will generate a few lessons for you to pick from. I recommend "Behavior Q&A with Teepa Snow" and "Recognize & Respond to Agitation" and "Recognize & Respond to Aggression".
If you continue to see aggression, please reach out to her physician to rule out underlying conditions and to evaluate her medications. They also might be able to connect you to resources through their case management team.