Hygiene

Bob

One of my biggest issues while caring for my wife is hygiene - toothbrushing, showering, even sponge bathing, are all challenging. I've tried a number of things, but with limited success. Any suggestions/tips would be appreciated.

Kari

Hygiene is definitely a tough issue. You didn't mention specifically what is making these tasks challenging. My mom is still able to brush her teeth, but we need to put toothpaste on her toothbrush for her. And, if we aren't watching her closely, she's been known to put deodorant on her face or arms. When she showers, we put the shampoo into her hand and she can handle the rest. I've watched a lot of videos with Teepa Snow where she shows how to use the hand-over-hand method to guide someone to brush their teeth, eat and wash. Do you have any outside help with your wife's care?

Twyla

I heard people say to their love one that the doctor prescribed them to take a shower twice a week. Then another person suggested you take a shower then say it’s time for you to take a shower. When my husband didn’t want to take a shower I started with his face and work my way down letting him do the washing. Just coaxing him and it worked. Letting him take his clothes off as we work our way down. Then the bathroom should be warm and cozy.

Bob

My wife can do very little herself.

She attempts to brush her teeth if I put the toothpaste on the brush but she does a terrible job, and isn't very cooperative if I try to do it. I take her to the dentist every three months rather than every six just so the hygienist can do a cleaning, which is also not done the way the dentist would like due to lack of cooperation.
I shower her twice a week, and it is exhausting. I have to get in the shower with her, wash her, dry her, and dress her. Temperature is a real issue so I have the an extra heater in our bedroom, and a heat lamp in the shower area turned on. I work as fast as I can but she still complains about being cold.
I have to try to wash her hair but doing it in the shower or in the sink does not work. I have resorted to purchasing no-rinse shampoo caps (think shower cap with shampoo/conditioner in them) and using them to wash her hair, but it clearly does not do a great job of cleaning her hair/scalp. I am able to take her to a salon to have her hair wash/cut once a month but that is also a challenge for the stylist (who we've gone to for years) because my wife does not like laying her head back over the sink while her hair is being washed.
My wife goes back and forth between eating with utensils and her fingers so every night I have to clean her finger nails to get out the food from the day's meals. She cooperates most of the time letting me do this.
I have to clean her after every trip to the bathroom since she will not do it. She is semi-continent.
Just getting her out of her day clothes and into her nightgown, and then out of her nightgown and into her day clothes is a challenge, again because she complains of being cold, even though I've got the extra heater in the bedroom.
So, bottom line, all-in-all, hygiene is an exhausting experience for me, and causes her all kinds of agitation.

Twyla

Bob you are doing a wonderful job taking care of your wife. Some of the things you mentioned I have to do for husband. Some he can do with my prompting. Wanted to know do you have someone that can relieve you sometimes? I became overwhelmed last year this time and because when I retired January 2021 his needs became greater and I was having to do more for him. I was always tired beginning to get stressed out. I started the support groups in January 2022 and finding out resources that could help me get help with my husband personal care and also get a couple of hours to get away by myself. I began to become less stressed. I found out thorough Department of Social Services they have a Block Grant not based on your income that helped me get an in home aide that comes Monday thur Friday 2 hours a day to help him with a shower and fix him lunch or breakfast depending on the time she is coming that day. Sometimes other people can get them to do more. Area Aging Agency is a big help. They have respite vouchers that on the weekends I get someone to come and sit with my husband if I have a activity or lunch with friends for a couple of hours. We have 2 daughters and his sisters that help with relief for me sometimes. I hope and pray your are getting some kind of support so you can get away for a couple of hours.

Bob

Twyla
I have been blessed to have found two caregivers who, between them, give me four hours each weekday afternoon. This allows me time to run errands, take care of my own doctor/dental appts., take care of the house/cars/yard, etc. And I try to at least once a week either meet a friend for lunch or just coffee, or take a book to a local park or coffee shop (depending on the weather) and read something other than about dementia/Alzheimer's to just 'chill' a bit. They help with toileting, etc. as needed while they are there, but the bulk of the hygiene issues take place when I am the sole caregiver. I am working on onboarding a third caregiver who has indicated a willingness to help out on weekends, which will be a real relief if it all works out.

dvellio

I posted the following this morning but I am putting the link to it here because I think the information fits in both places.

https://forum.trualta.com/d/24-equipment-and-supplies/4

dvellio

When I first began helping my wife with toileting, I was unprepared. I discovered fairly quickly that a wet washcloth was not a good way to clean up a really messy BM. I even found that on at least one occasion the only way I could get her cleaned was to put her in the shower. That is a solution that wouldn't work at all today because I haven't been able to get her into the shower now for almost a year.
Shortly after I became responsible for this task, I was wandering through the Depends aisle at Sam's and I discovered the following product. These are large adult wipes that are 8 by 12 inches. I consider them to have been a major lifesaver when it comes to cleaning up a messy toileting job.

https://www.samsclub.com/p/members-mark-adult-wipes-240-ct/prod21063583?xid=plp_product_14

I have looked in other places for a comparable product and have not found anything like it anywhere.

Twyla

dvellio I use those to and like them because they are big.