Introductions - Please come here to introduce youself.

Racine

My husband is suffering from memory loss that is getting worse in front of my eyes. His neurologist and his primary and myself have not felt that an exact diagnosis is needed, as he has also been on psych meds since the late 1980's for a major mental illness. He had surgery a year ago and his memory took a major hit as a result of being under anesthesia. A brain MRI shows the damage in his brain. His mobility is also failing, which requires use of a walker and a lift chair and a hospital bed and bathroom aids to help me keep him at home. I have engaged our area ADRC and they have been of immense help guiding me thru the challenges of safety proofing my house and providing support to me, as I am an emotional wreck. Hubby is 73 and I am 71. Very young to be dealing with this, as many seniors don't require this extent of care until much older. Anyway, I will be monitoring all of the postings and insight that has been shared and will continue to be shared. We live one day at a time, as tomorrow is not here yet.

dvellio

Racine
Welcome to our chat room. I'm sorry you're getting hit with this at your age but I'm sure that you will find things in this chat room area that will help you as you make your journey with your husband.
I would suggest that you follow the link belowand sign up for at least one of the weekly zoom sessions. It is a great place to connect with other people who are dealing with the same issues you are and see them face to face and have your questions answered. You may have already found this area of the Trualta site but sometimes it's hard to find your way around without a little guidance.

https://demo.trualta.com/event/list

IcedViolets

My Dad was just diagnosed a few weeks ago with Vascular Dementia at 63. After retiring a few years ago from a high stress job after nearly 40 years we first noticed his hearing declining and then the word finding and memory issues became more and more apparent. We are just getting started on this journey and I'm not sure what all it will bring but it's been devastating watching my superhero deteriorate before my eyes. As an adult child, nothing prepares you for when you have to suddenly begin parenting your parents. I'm pretty heartbroken right now, however, I've been researching a lot and trying to be creative in how I approach the topic with him because he's not much of a talker when it comes to emotional issues, none of us are good at it. Thankfully he is a brilliant man and he and my mother have all their legal affairs in order. My biggest fear is that he'll do something to harm himself and end all of this once it starts to get any worse. He's verbalized those feelings a few times now and it's really tough to hear. I feel like I need to be hyper aware and even more over protective than I already am. This has been a struggle but at least we have a diagnosis now and I'll continue to fight for him and with him until neither of us are able. If anyone has any suggestions about any of this I'm open to discussions. I believe support comes in all forms so please don't shy away from asking any questions you may have. Thanks for being a part of this and keeping this resource available for families like ours.

bjl

Hi, my name is Brenda and I am caring for my 83 year old husband who has Alzheimer's.

caringformom

My name is Gloria, and I am 54 years old, caring for mom, who is 76 years old. She was at a rehabilitation center for almost 6 months because none of my siblings could take care of her. I had been living in Idaho for almost 20 years, and my husband and I decided to move temporarily to Bakersfield to take care of mom. At first it was unbelievable hard because she was not able to get out of bed and I had to change her diaper and do a bunch of other stuff that I had no idea how to do.

TheOtherRob

Warning I only skimmed some of the intros. There is a lot.

Hi
My wife, Anita and I (Rob) currently take care of my 86 year old mother whose dementia has worsened since her Aortic Valve Replacement. She went from taking care of herself (besides cooking to dinner) to needing to be helped to change, at times not able to find words to speak and her memory has worsened greatly. Its good and bad that she can still walk as she constantly wanders around the house. I wish the doctors would have said something about her dementia worsening from the surgery. To be honest based on her age I would have said no thanks. Let her live out the life she had. (Quality vs Quantity). I will be honest with you, my mom is a 24x7 toddler it feels like. I work from home and now I make sure I work in living room to assist. How do you all do it? My wife barely gets anything done, cause its always something she needs or something she has to ask. We have to stay on her. Feeling overwhelmed right now.

Nice to meet you all.
Rob

terryballen56

Hi,

My name is Terry Allen. I am sixty-seven-years-young. I am enrolling with IHSS to become a full-time provider for my disabled fiancee, Over the past several years my fiance, Kacia Keegin, has developed a physical disability(s) yjay prohibits her from walking, standing, reaching, lifting, carrying objects, and from doing just about anything.

I have had to quit my fulltime job to take care of her. This has left us financially destitute. We are very grateful for the IHSS program. She will be able to stay in our home, help with all of our administrative tasks, and remain my number one best friend by my side. On Monday, November 13, we will celebrate her fifty-nineyh birthday wiyh cake and ice cream and fresh flowers, Its a good thing she loves my cooking. But the best part is she loves me.

terryballen56

Rob,

Your mom's dementia may see a dramatic improvement if she simply takes vitamins, The best results are with Mary Ruth's Liquid Morning MULTIVITAMINS. It is very importany that she is adminidstered with the correct type of vitamins, Elderly folks cannot process synthetic versions of many vitamins and minerals that are sold on the pharmacy shelves accross the US. The trouble with the synthetic versions, doctors have recently discovered, thry actually harm us, causing all sorts of negative side effects. However, naturally occurring vitamins and minerals have been found to actually reverse the advancement of dementia. Mary Ruth's has been a miricle worker for my fiancee. Kacia has found dramatic improvement of many of the ongoing health conditions that have plagued her for years,

Just two tablespoons of Mary Ruth's Multivitamins every morning will help your mom's condition improve dramatically and help to mend your relationship too. My mom-in-law is eighty and a real handful. My fiancee regrets not being able to care for her in her twilight years. But thanks to IHSS she too will soon have a provider to look after her. Hang in there, Rob. Try the vitamins and things will surely get better. Remember we are fortunaye that our parents are still around. We always miss them when God calls them home.

John

Hello my name is John im 71 and im new to this site. My wife has alcholic neuropothy in her feet and legs and has limitied movement in her arms and legs. She was able to get up and go to the bathroom up to mid August but since then she has been bed ridden and therefore I have to change her and spong bath her. I am getting a lifter and bed through prescrition from doctor and hopefully that will be delivered tomorrow or next day. I have two daughters 32 and 44 but my wife will not let then bath her or chsnge diapers. My wife has other problems but doctors say that medication will not he :lp unless she stops drinking. And she wont. My insurance does not cover help so I am doing all this by myself.### ###

varchuleta5

Hi, my name is Veronica I'm 40. I have 3 children not so little, 24,22 and 14. I have a bachelor's of science in communications and digital marketing. My mother is a current provider; I have helped her care for an elderly couple a few years back. I would like to start my own caregiving now. A fe months back I cared for a 79 year old man named James but we called him Sonny. He was a very cheerful guy run to be around and conversate with. He recently moved to Michigan to be reunited with his family that he hasn't with in over 30 years. I can't wait to see who my new friend will be. I'm taking my Masters program online I should be done in a year. I also love to cook I would love to own my own restaurant one day. Nice to meet you all. I'm new any pointers in which direction I should go next?

elainemartin

Hello, I'm exploring this site. Are there any virtual support group meetings?

dvellio

elainemartin
Yes, there are several different possibilities, although some of them will probably not be available again until January.
The link below will get you to the list.
Welcome to the group.

https://demo.trualta.com/event/list

DanG

elainemartin
I don't know what state you're in, but if you're in Ohio The Central Ohio Council on Aging has a Zoom Group every Monday morning.

elainemartin

dvellio
Thank you!

Frisky16

Introducing myself, I am Corinne, age 68, caring for my husband, 71, who has terminal bladder cancer. He's had other health problems for the past few years, and we just got this diagnosis in May; it has spread to a dozen other places, and they say it's terminal, it's just a matter of when. He goes weekly for chemo, to try to slow things down. He has a lot of pain (it's in his bones), and is on O2 much of the time. I've been doing it all so far. No family that is close. Now here's the rub, I am a retired nursing home nurse, so I know all the physical issues and demands; he wants me to be the sole caregiver, but I am just one person, and can't really be on duty 24/7. When the patient is your husband, the emotions and decisions are a little different. I want to be there for him, and nobody knows him like I do, but I need support, too. He says he is not ready to call Hospice yet. Feeling tired all the time!

GAndrews1

Hello. My name is Gage and I am the caregiver to my wife of 42 years, who has progressive muscular dystrophy. We were lucky enough to be able to fully remodel our house for accessibility, and as a result my wife can still perform most tasks without my assistance. However, her limited muscle strength means she cannot go places by car by herself because she can't get her wheels into or out of the car. Over Thanksgiving, we were out of town when I got a back injury that meant I could provide no assistance at all - we had to come home right away, since we were not staying where the place was adequately set up for her needs. I am realizing how much more I still need to do, and how much harder it will be for her to do less. Our 48 year old son lives 30 minutes away, so he can help in an emergency, but it not good for any daily activity. I look forward to reading how people in the group cope with gradual declines.

Viv

Hello everyone I'm Viv taking care of Sister in NC

CorrinneM

I'm Corrinne and I care for my husband, who has Lewy body dementia and is now developing Parkinsons. Mike was diagnosed with LBD in 2021 but had obviously had a form of dementia for several years before. We live in Moorpark, CA, just north of Los Angeles. I'm looking forward to learning more from the group.

Viv

Welcome

MoniqueFrahm

I'm so glad to have you all here! Welcome!

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