I'm new to this... my husband had been my mother in laws caregiver 7 days a week, stayed overnight with her for the past 3 years... he could leave her a few hours at a time.. she has a fit if I try to go next door to my own home to even shower now so have stopped trying...
My husband died at the age of 58 from a heart attack a few weeks ago... so I've been thrown into managing her care... I'm now finding help but it's very overwhelming... not being about to go to my own home except a few hours a day if I am lucky and I have a cat.. I used to help my husband by doing all her suppers and help my 3 days off from work checking in several times in the day...now it's all on my shoulders... and I feel like I'm drowning...
The one thing I don't handle well is her having a fit, demanding to go to hersisters house and having a fit...
believe me, I would have her stay there 24/7 if her sister wanted her that much... her niece watches her 2 days a week which is wonderful... but her sister is only able to see her 1-2 times a week for a couple hours...
she gets in a crying fit... "you need to take me".. she insists on going home.. her childhood home is
no longer there... her parents are no longer home (or alive) but she wants to see mom or dad... I've tried distracting her or being honest with her... both don't seem to work and then I get frusterated... ended up taking her for an hour ride just so she stopped having her fit... I'd like to say the fit is just for me but she did this all the time to my husband, he was able to
just go home and then she would call him in a few hours...part of this is dementia, and part of this is my
mother in law who has always demanded people do what she wanted when she wanted... her nickname was "Hyacinth"....
She doesn't even remember most of the time my husband even has passed... and I definately don't have any time for my own grief or pain right now...
