Family Caretaking - Loss and Grief of Future Plans

sjcamp

As a caretaker, I am also grieving our loss of future plans, etc caused by loss of ability caused by my husbands treatment. Any ideas of how to accept the new normal when the future is so different than what was planned?

Kari

I wish I knew. For me, it’s been a long and drawn out process of grieving and loss. My mom was always my “go to” person for everything. It’s so hard to slowly lose her to Alzheimer’s. I can no longer reminisce with my mom and she doesn’t even remember that I’m her daughter. She’s physically still with us, but she’ll never be the person she once was.

Twyla

I feel the same about not being able to plan trips. During the pandemic we couldn’t go on trips now that we are to travel I still can’t with my husband who has Dementia. He doesn’t do well around a lot of people and different places other than home. Last week I had the opportunity to fly to New Jersey to visit my first cousin who was very sick. I left the Monday and returned Saturday. Spent Thanksgiving in NJ. My cousin passed the day before Thanksgiving. I was a little nervous about being away from my husband but I know he was being taking good care of by his sister, in home aide and our two daughters who took turns staying nightly. Before my trip I would just try not to think about trips or vacation. It helped me mentally to be away from my husband and it let others really see what I go through on a daily basis. Maybe if you could get away for the weekend and get respite care for your husband you will feel like you are not missing out a trip. Sorry my post is so long.